Sit down for a moment and carefully answer the following questions:

1. How do you feel about tentacled space aliens joyriding in cool cars and hot rods here on earth?

Well, you'd better get used to it - you can't stop 'em

2. Do mermaids really exist - and how do they walk their dogs?

Of course mermaids exist! But they do have unusual dogs.

3. Are you surprised at seeing a bikini girl surfing on a 1967 Chevrolet panel Sportvan?

Looks normal to me

4. Would you believe a pretty woman surfing on a 60s Ford Econoline pickup truck?

Takes very careful footwork, but it can be done

5. What would you do if you saw a flying Ford COE shoot down another flying COE truck?

Dodge, duck, dive, dip . . . and Dodge!

6. How would you put an old Airstream trailer up in a tree to use as a treehouse?

I'm going to corner the market on old Airstream trailers and wait for the buyers to come

7. Have you ever camped by the ocean in your RV and awakened to find your trailer in a situation like this?

And watch out for that first step - it's a doozy!

8. You're walking in the jungle and suddenly are confronted by a Guerrilla Hula Girl and her faithful homunculus - should you be afraid?

Yes, you should be afraid. Be very afraid

9. Why should you keep your mouth shut if you saw a dragon lady driving a green/black/white 1959 Dodge Custom Royal Lancer 2-door hardtop?

Because sometimes STFU is the best policy

10. Did you know we have a serious problem with Sea Monster machines cluttering our beaches?

Report any Sea Monster machines to Sea Monster Salvage and Repair immediately. Do not approach.

11. What kind of sirens come with Cadillac ambulances?

Cadillac - The Standard of Excellence

12. Have you ever been passed by a jacked up '42 Lincoln gasser being driven by a lovely lady in an evening gown with a mismatched helmet?

Aha - so that's where Sweetie is!

The gallery of contains the answers to these and many more spectacular and unnerving thoughts here on

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Sorry, dogs aren't very good at Elvis impersonations.
But we know better than to bark at mermaids.